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This particular scenario actually happened to me twice, with two different people! I still can't quite figure it out....

I was living about an hour East of the major city in our area and I was in an all-originals band at the time. During one of the shows we played (for the Grand Re-Opening of a club that had shown some of the greatest acts during the 60's) I connected a bit with the guitarist of one of the other bands there. We exchanged phone numbers.

Over the next couple of weeks, we had several long, highly stimulating conversations. I found him intelligent, funny and insightful, with a dry sense of humor. He asked me out for dinner, but since he lived in the city he did not own a car, he asked me if I would mind coming out to him. I said, no, I didn't mind and that I looked forward to the date.

I had a very low-paying job and a gas-guzzling car, but I made it out there just fine. He'd had invitations to some VIP party, so we started there. He bought me a drink, and left to mingle throughout the party. I didn't think too much of this and decided to mingle myself a bit. After about 30 minutes, he came up to me and asked me if I had any money to buy the next round, since he had so generously bought the first one. I agreed, he got his drink, and went to mingle some more.

Then it was time for dinner and he knew about this great Thai place not far away. We waited for a long time, but finally sat down to eat. The food was quite good but the conversation started to slow down. I would smile and enjoy my food through the awkward moments so that we could pretend we were just having a nice dinner together.

When the check came, he became almost surly when he asked me if I could pitch in on the bill. At this point, I had very little money left and that had been budgeted for gas for my land yacht. I'd also had to pay for parking. I expressed concern over having enough money to get home and he leaned back, openly disgusted.

I stammered some sort of apology and put as much as I could on the table.

Ever since that time I have felt that there are some unspoken rules that I did not understand and thus broke. Even though I think the guy was a complete jerk, I still have this nagging doubt about what happened and that I ruined what could have been a nice evening simply because I didn't reach for my wallet quickly enough throughout the evening.

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