The Date From Hell
Men Who Show Up With Someone Else
All names have been changed to protect the innocent and the guilty!
OK, here's the one that stands out the most, partly because it falls into my most-recently- dated-man horror story file ...
We are going to meet at a new and beautiful local hotel where great live music is playing, and food is served on the patio on a beautiful summer evening. The plan is to discuss where we stand on being exclusive with one another: yes/no/maybe down the road. He is getting his hair cut prior to our meeting, by a friend who works in the spa at the same hotel.
He calls me about an hour ahead to say we should meet later as his hairstylist is running late. OK, so I arrive at the later time, find seats for us on a crowded patio (I actually have to drag 2 heavy chairs from other occupied tables to have something for us to sit on).
Half an hour later than we had agreed on meeting, he shows up, a drink in hand and with a woman ... his hairstylist (on-again off-again girlfriend of a friend of his). He introduces us, and there is no explanation of what she is doing here, nor does he ever ask me if it is OK that she joins us. My date does mention that he had wanted to get his drink half price, so had gone to he bar with her ... she gets a discount from being employed at the hotel.
I am definitely peeved, and barely keep the rising steam to myself. This is the first time I have ever met this woman, so I am trying to be civil. We all move to a table when one is vacated. She spills her glass of red wine, partially on me luckily I am wearing a dark skirt and sandals, and nothing seems to really stain my clothing), and we all sort of chat, as I try to figure out what is going on. I seriously consider getting up to leave (and know I should have ... saying, "You can call me when you're free, and I'll see if I have time to meet you.") but I don't.
Eventually, she makes plans to meet her boyfriend, and my date and I go to another restaurant. Since I want to follow our original plan to discuss exclusivity or not, I decide not to even talk about this night's incident. We agree that it isn't time to decide on exclusivity (I am about to leave for 2 weeks anyway, and want to reassess my feelings for this person & situation altogether), which is a relief.
We had a pretty nice dinner, that night, but I went away feeling really yucky overall, and eventually realized that this person was not treating me the way I want to be treated by a man. (I didn't even mention that he was spending a LOT of time hanging out with a woman 20 years younger than me (16 years younger than him), who he said he was just friends with, and he did not seem to care what effect that had on me.)
A couple of weeks afterward, I did mention to him that his lack of communication that night had really not worked for me. He had had no clue that it was a problem and explained that this woman just wanted to meet me (he had no idea why, though). He did admit to being clueless a fair amount of the time about women's feelings. He certainly proved that out more than once. I have been happier not to be seeing this man. (No, really?!)