Welcome To The Date From Hell
"All names have been changed to protect the innocent and the guilty!"
"A Colorful Guy...."
One of my coworkers fixed me up with a 25-year-old firefighter friend of her husband. A blind date, we met at a restuarant.
In my mind, I pictured a hunk with muscles; in reality, I ended up on a date with Homer Simpson.
When I saw him, I made up my mind not to judge him by appearance, so we sat down and had a drink. It was the conversation, however, that made him the most repulsive guy I had ever been on a date with.
At first, he was explaining about his job, and how excited he was because he had just started. When he told me that it was hot outside during his training, I nodded my head and said, "Yes, you're outside, and we live in South Florida."
Instead of moving on to another topic, he proceeded to tell me that he sweat so much, it wasn't just droplets of sweat falling from his chest, but big so much sweat that "buckets gushed" from his chest. Nice mental image.
Even though I tried to steer the conversation away from his firefighter training, he continued to make references to it. He began telling me about how dehydrating it was to train in 100 degree weather.
At my suggestion he drink lots of water and Gatorade, he told me, "You know how people pee 6-7 times a day? Well, I pee 2 times a day."
When he said this, I just nodded my head without saying a word. Really, what is a proper response to someone's urinating habits?
Unfortunately, he didn't stop there.
He next said, "And, not to gross you out, but it's bright yellow," in reference to the color of his urine.
At this point, I made the decision to stick out the date, for no other reason than to share my story with my friends!
And, I didn't want an abrupt end to the date affect my relationship with my coworker.
IT WAS A DATE FROM HELL.